Who is Jaline?

9/14/2022

    What did the shy pebble wish? … Just that she be a little boulder. Get it? Well, that basically sums up how I am. The girl who was so confident and extroverted made friends easily, and as I grew up became so shy and even developed social anxiety. So, where did this all begin? Well, let’s backtrack some years to when I was in elementary.


     I would have described myself as extroverted, always going up to people to make friends. Growing up with a single mother and being an only child, it often felt very lonely in the house so making friends in school was something that I went out of my way to do. Somewhere a long the way, the outgoing Jaline diminished. I cared about what people thought and I became more self-conscious. Maybe that’s just how it is to grow up. Now, as the 19-year-old I am, I am more of a listener than a talker around my friends. I’ve become more of an observant person. From outsiders looking in I probably look like a standoffish person who judges others, but I am simply just shy and scared of rejection. It’s often difficult for me to make doctor appointments or be on the phone with someone I don’t know. I don't like confrontation so I try my best to stray away from that as much as possible. I feel this might have come from when I was in middle school and I used to get bullied, it really messed with my self-esteem that I even had to see a psychologist. Imagine this. A girl being friends with you. All fun and games. All of a sudden she turns everyone against you. She befriends you again just to do the process all over again. I’m a nice person so I give people so many chances but it takes a toll on my psyche. Over the years I’ve become more introverted to avoid that feeling again. It’s funny how I want to be a child psychologist but I had problems talking about my feelings to others. I feel it is important as a soon-to-be child psychologist to open up about myself and go into my psyche to find the root of my personality. Once people get passed the shyness Im described as empathetic, funny, and kind of talkative which I don’t think people expect at first. If someone was to put me in a room with people, I don’t make the first move to introduce myself, I wait for people to come to me. As I’m getting older and more Into my college years I'm trying to break out of that shell and make the first move. I’m realizing more and more it doesn’t matter what people think of me. I also feel it’s important for me to evaluate myself and what shapes me because I should view myself as important as well as everyone else. So who am I? Well, I’m shy but also talkative once you get to know me, an empathetic and caring person, and a girl just figuring out life and managing it one step at a time.